Death is But a Dream / Christpher Kerr, Carine Mardorossian

 

4 out of 5 stars 

I heard the doctor author of this book interviewed on the radio and knew immediately that I wanted to read it. He is a hospice doctor. All of his patients are there to die. He has learned a lot from the patients and the staff that look after them. His first intimation that the later stages of death were worth paying attention to began with a conversation with a nurse. When he suggested several interventions for an AIDS patient, she told him, “It's too late. He's dreaming of his dead mother. He is dying.”

As he became more experienced, Kerr became convinced that when life-saving treatments were no longer relevant, medicine and doctors abandoned patients to their own devices. But that's where the process gets interesting. He firmly believes in managing symptoms to allow dying people to do the important work of preparing for death.

As that nurse pointed out, one of the signs on an impending death is having visions of dead loved ones, relatives, friends, spouses, children, or pets. They may just be reassuring presences, they may speak, they may even feel as if they are physically interacting with the patient. Kerr feels it's important not to pathologise these experiences and not to try to medicate them away. Another recurring theme is travel—packing to go somewhere, trying to procure tickets, striving to get out of bed, to GO. That's easy to interpret, they will soon be leaving.

These dreams and visions seem to allow dying people to process the unfinished business of their lives. Some work through PTSD. Everyone examines their relationships. Perspective is gained. Often peace is achieved. That result seems to be irrespective of religious belief of any kind. I found my eyes filling with tears as I read the case studies. It is a comforting idea. I was reminded of some reading I did a couple of years ago about the clinical use of psilocybin for resolution of long standing personal issues.

I must dream regularly as we all do, but I do occasionally dream of dead relatives and these are the dreams I remember. I love it when I get a brief reunion with my mother. She and my dad were killed in a car accident about 30 years ago. I got to be with Dad as he passed and it was one of the most spiritual experiences of my life. His brain injury didn't allow him to speak, so I don't know if he had any of these visions, but I hope he did. I hope not to die anytime soon, but I will know what it means when these things start happening and I certainly don't dread it.