The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning / Hallgrimur Helgason

The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning by Hallgrímur Helgason
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

If you enjoy clever word play, something more complex than a pun, and done by someone who is fluent in at least two languages and can play them off one another, this is the book for you! The main character, known as Toxic, speaks Croatian and New York gangster. His attempts at Icelandic (a jaw cracker of a language) are hilarious. The author has obviously heard a lot of us outsiders mangling his mother tongue.

Toxic is a hitman for the Croatian mafia in the Big Apple, until he screws up and must flee the country. But while waiting for his flight to Europe, he recognizes that the authorities must be onto him. In a panic, he hides in the men's room, eventually killing a clergyman and taking his place on a flight to Iceland. His amazement at what he finds there (or doesn't find) is the basis for a lot of the black humour of the novel.

Our narrator can't believe that he's ended up in the land of no guns. How can he possibly stay here? But a few phone calls indicate that going to Europe or back to the States is not recommended. His “host's" daughter, Gunnhildur, becomes enamoured with him. Toxic calls her Gunholder and declares that he finally has a gun to hold, and since she smokes like a chimney, she is his Smoking Gun.

It's hilarious how well Toxic actually gets along with the televangelists who had recruited Father Friendly (whose body was abandoned in the bathroom at JFK). They have their own shady pasts and seem to be involved in exploitative foreign worker schemes. Helgason certainly plays with the idea that these guys are less-than-honest snake oil salesmen.

Be warned, if you dislike books with plenty of swearing and lots of violence, this book is not for you. For me, it was better than a cozy mystery any day.


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