Texts from Jane Eyre / Mallory Ortberg

4 out of 5 stars

Hilariously imagined text conversations—the passive aggressive, the clever, and the strange—from classic and modern literary figures, from Scarlett O’Hara to Jessica Wakefield.

Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.

Cute. Smart. Very literate.

Unfortunately for me, I think I had already read the funniest section (the Jane Eyre section IMO) online. It still made me smile (because of course Rochester would text in all caps). I also really enjoyed the Wuthering Heights exchange between Cathy and Heathcliff.

It helps if you are familiar with the literature that Ortberg is parodying. The sections on Sweet Valley High and The Baby-Sitters Club meant little to me, as I’ve never read any of the books or even read about them. However, I’m tempted to re-read a Nancy Drew book, just to see if poor old Ned really did get as thoroughly ignored by Nancy as Ortberg’s texts would suggest.

I also really enjoyed the mythology bits.

Good, light-hearted fun for well-read people.